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| Ava got her first sucker during out last shopping trip! |
I'm not going to lie to you, doing anything with my three is not easy. It isn't because they are misbehaved, it's because they are 1, 2 and 4 years old. It's not easy to fall in line when you're curious and excited about everything!
I try to reserve outings to only the most important of tasks. We need food, so we go grocery shopping. I need to keep up on their health and dental care, so we go to the doctor and the dentist, but otherwise I try not to run errands with the kids.
Since grocery shopping is a weekly event for me, I have had to come up with a strategy which evolved to what it is over the last year (since having Ava - a lot changes in a baby's first year).
When she was really little I could strap her into the Moby wrap and it was like I still only had 2 kids to manage.
These days, I do things a little differently (though not entirely) and here's what I do:
1. Get off to the right start.
Before I leave the house, I put fresh diapers on the two little ones and I have Mac use the potty. If I make a pit stop first (see number 3 below) I will freshen the kids up and take Mac to the potty between stops even if he (or they) don't seem to need it. I always like to start fresh versus stopping in the middle of an errand/task to deal with potty issues.
2. Time it right.
I almost always go to the grocery store before nap time, but not too close to nap time because the kids moods won't hold up. If I have to go later in the day, I will plan a simple dinner so that I'm not overwhelmed with too much to do when I get home.
I also try not to go around meal times because this would also be a set up for failure.
3. Make a day of it.
The way I figure it, if I'm going to make the effort to get all 3 kids out of the house, I might as well make it worth it. What I like to do is take them to a park. They can run and have fun and also get their sillies out before we go to the store where I will expect them to remain calm(ish).
Referring back to number 2, I usually try to leave the house at about 10 a.m. on errand days. My kids have snacks at 10 a.m. so I will bring a portable snack and a packed lunch.
The kids will enjoy their snack on the way to the park and then have lunch there before we head off on our errands.
And referring back to number 1, I always freshen up between stops.
4. I call in reinforcements.
While I'm making a day of it, figure it's nice to invite my mom or sister along. They get to enjoy some time with the kids and I get a little relief to focus on the task at hand. Help isn't always available, but when it is, I take it!
5. Give them a task and something to look forward to.
Our grocery store has kid sized shopping carts, so I let Mac (we're working on Adrian) push their own carts and Mac will gather things from his own shopping list (which has pictures and words to help him).
At our particular grocery store the kids can earn a lollipop if they find the mascot which is hidden in different places around the store each day.
If Mac stays on task, uses his manners and is courteous in the store, then I will allow them to have a lollipop on the way out.
6. Shop somewhere that bags your groceries and will load them in the car for you.
Not all grocery stores will offer these services and not all people accept the help when offered. I used to be someone who felt bad letting someone else push my cart out and load my groceries. I still feel badly about it, but I realize now that I need all the hands I can get when I'm out with the kids.
7. Teach children about safety.
While loading the kids in and out of the car, I usually have my back turned to at least one of them which can be very dangerous.
I talk to the boys often about being cautious around cars, especially moving cars. We follow the rule of holding hands when crossing a street or walking through a parking lot.
The boys know that when I'm loading and unloading siblings from the car, they must stand with their back touching the car.
It's also helpful if I let the boys jump around the front seat while I load up Ava and/or bags (if I've gone somewhere that doesn't offer help out) and then I bring them back one at a time to their seats.
Sometimes doing that means my windshield wipers, blinkers and heater are all on when I get the car started, but it also means that no one got hit by a car! Phew.
8. I carry on positive dialogue throughout the process.
If the kids remember to hold hands in the parking lot before I issue the reminder, I thank them specifically for remembering to hold hands. If someone compliments us on how well behaved the kids are being I bring it to their attention. "Did you hear that? She noticed how well you are following Mama's directions. Thank you!"
On the flip side, if they aren't meeting my expectations, I will say, "Son, I need you to stay right behind me. I know you can do this, so please remember to do so." This seems more effective than me saying "Stop wandering over there!"
And that's how I do it. Maybe someday my kids will want advice on how to manage this kind of situation and I will have this to refer them to. I may choose to block out some of the more hectic times from my memory, so this blog will come in handy then!
(I won't get into how I unload the groceries with all three of them up to our second floor apartment!)
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