Breast Feeding (18 months later)

As we approach Ava's 18th month I am excited to celebrate my biggest accomplishment (after birthing my 3 children) and that is to have achieved 18 months of breastfeeding!

It was definitely a very uncertain thing for me - whether I would even attempt breastfeeding the third time around. I did not achieve my 12 month breastfeeding goal with either of the boys (or even come close to it), so I went into my third pregnancy not really wanting to try breastfeeding. It seemed more defeating than to just go straight into formula feeding. As I got closer to delivery, however, the instinct to do it took over and I felt I should at least give it a go.

Ava was born at 36 weeks 4 days and had some respiratory issues/trouble maintaining good oxygenation and so she had to stay in the NICU.  She had to wear a tiny mask called a CPAP (continuous positive airway pressure) to help with her respiratory distress. When this happened I felt discouraged.  Mac had a similar start in that he had to stay in the NICU for observation after I developed an infection during labor.  In the short time he was there he quickly became accustomed to bottle feeding and I didn't have the stamina to persevere through the challenge or the heart to push through his frustration as he highly protested the breast whenever it was offered to him.

Fortunately Ava only had to wear the CPAP for the first few hours after birth. Less than 24 hours after she was born she was free of the device and so we were able to attempt our first nursing session the day after she was born.

Wearing CPAP
3/18/14 - 11:36 p.m. (approx 7 hours old)

First Nursing Session
3/19/14 - 7:06 p.m. (approx 27 hours old)

It took a couple of attempts to get her to latch properly.  She still had a tiny tube in her mouth that was causing a poor latch, so I asked a nurse if it was ok to remove it.  Once the tube was out of the way she formed  a perfect latch.

Thank goodness that part was easy because the rest was difficult to say the least.

3/20/14 - 9:16 p.m.

Even though Ava had shown incredible progress from the respiratory issues she had at delivery, she had to stay in the NICU per the hospital's policies.  That meant that I had to come to her every three hours or more if I wanted to establish a good breastfeeding relationship.

The post natal ward was short staffed, so I had to walk myself back and forth to the NICU each time. Coming fresh off a c-section delivery - this was not easy (to say the least), but I didn't really give it much thought. It just seemed like something I had to do.  Besides the breastfeeding, I wanted to be with her as much as possible so my need to be with her was a strong motivator for me to get up to the NICU as often as possible and why not work on breastfeeding while I was at it?

On one of my walks to the NICU
"Nurse, Sleep, Repeat"

I only left her long enough to pump a little after our nursing sessions and eat/hydrate.  I really didn't sleep much because it was difficult to be away from her and both of the boys too!

The grueling walks back and forth were one challenge, the other was the PAINFUL contractions that breastfeeding induces.  I remembered having them with Mac and Adrian, but the contractions I felt with Ava were more painful than the contractions I felt during labor!

I would sit and writhe in pain while she nursed. I never considered quitting just to relieve myself, but it was definitely a huge leap of faith on my part to push through and trust that the contractions would eventually fade and I could nurse pain free.

The contractions did wear off eventually and what a relief that was! Still I was not pain free as there was nipple soreness to contend with and a pulled muscle in my back that persisted for weeks!

Thankfully I filled my mind with as much information as I could surrounding breastfeeding in the last few weeks prior to Ava's birth and I continued on after she was born so I was encouraged that the nipple soreness was normal (I was originally of the belief the breastfeeding was totally painless if done properly) and the doctor told me that my "upper trapezius strain" would eventually resolve itself with better nursing posture and use of the ibuprofen that I was prescribed for pain during recovery from the c-section.

In the weeks following her birth things got progressively easier. It was and still is such a joy to share this experience with my baby.

4/14/14

 I am lucky enough that the challenges I faced in the beginning were short lived and were the only challenges I experienced this time around.  I feel safe now, saying I never experienced clogged ducts or mastitis. I really never had concern about my supply (except maybe the first time I felt depleted which was quickly remedied by lots of cluster feedings).

Ava was never very fond of bottle feedings and most of the time would just not eat if she wasn't with me, but fortunately I work really close to home so I always nursed her before work, at lunch and immediately after work.

I have loved staring at every inch of her while she nurses.

And the drowsy stare she gives off ...

I love that for her no one and nothing compares to mama.

I love the baby chubs she got from nursing.

I love savoring the moment with her after she finishes nursing.

And most of all, I love knowing that I personally provided her everything she needed to survive and thrive the first year and beyond.  I grew her in my belly and fed her from my breasts and that is so powerful.

I couldn't be more proud of this relationship. I'm so blessed that we are able to continue the breastfeeding experience through her second year of life.