Our Beautiful Three: Mac update: highs and lows

{my beautiful boy}

Mac is just a month shy of 3 and a half. I can't believe that I'm on the verge of being the mom of a 4 year old. That triggers a lot of thoughts about all the things that are to come in the next couple of years. I have to be careful not to let myself get carried away.

I thought we got off lucky because Mac never suffered the terrible twos. He just didn't. The last few weeks, however, have been full of highs and just as many lows which leads me to think we're paying our "terrible" dues at age 3.

I'm sort of at a loss for what to do, so I've been reading a lot. One thing we don't do in this house is have a set of family rules that everyone must adhere to. I sort if think that having some rules or expectations would help him understand why some of his behaviors are not acceptable to us.

Things like "Respect others and their stuff." This seems like a good one as its general enough to cover lots of infractions, but it's also very explicit. If he were to, for instance, irritate Adrian by growling in his face (he often does this when he pretends to be a dinosaur), I could refer to the "respect others" rule. Currently, I would tell him to listen to what his brother is trying to tell him (Adrian will cry or even yell "no!") and insist Mac stop. Then I resort to telling him he can't be a dinosaur.

I feel like I'm making stuff up as I go and just toss out new rule after new rule.

Aaron and I still have to work out the kinks, but I really feel like Mac is ready for this and I feel like I need to have this in my mommy toolbox.

I've also been really lax about planning curriculum for Mac. I've been considering purchasing a curriculum and think I just have to bite the bullet. Between work, household, the kids basic needs and making sure to nurture my relationship, I just haven't been doing a good enough job with preschool. We do have preschool time, but I don't have any real plan for this year and its weighing on me. I also think it bothers Mac. He is currently lacking the very structured flow of our day and its apparent in his behavior.

Things haven't been all bad (and even the bad isn't really that bad). Mac is really stepping up to his role as big brother.

In the last few weeks alone I have noticed that he thinks of his siblings when he is enjoying something. If he has a special treat he'll say "mama I'm going to save this one for my brother, but sister can't have any cause she's still a baby." It's so generous of a 3 year old to stop short of finishing all if his treat in order to have some to share with his brother.

As the oldest of my siblings I remember being this way as well, though I can't say I was so thoughtful at such a young age.

He's also a comforting big brother. If I have to tend to Ava and Adrian is impatient Mac will pat his back and say, "it's ok brother, Mama is helping sister. She will come get you in a minute."

Just the other day Aaron had to take his mom to a post-op appointment. She needed to be in a wheel chair, but Aaron had all 3 kids with him and that means Ava is in a carrier, Adrian is in a stroller and Mac is walking. Aaron could not push both the stroller and his mom's wheel chair, so Mac pushed his brothers stroller through the hospital for Aaron.

I got choked up when Aaron texted me to tell me our son was a huge help and he couldn't have managed things without him.

When I was home with Mac later I told him how much we appreciate him and also pointed out the difference between us letting him help so he could learn to do things versus us really needing his help and being able to count on him to help.

It was huge in my book, but also something I'm sensitive about. I was over burdened with taking care of my 4 siblings at a young age and I don't want Mac feeling like he has to help us raise the younger two, but his help was so appreciated and I'm proud that he stepped up. That's got to be hard for such a young boy!

I sure do love that guy. He's one of my greatest treasures.