Breastfeeding Update: 6 Months

I have a separate and equally special bod with each of my children, but the breastfeeding bond is new to me my third go around at this mommy thing. It's a bond so special that it cannot be described. It's a bond I'm blessed to enjoy.

Ava and I have come a long way together. We began our breastfeeding journey in a similar manner as Mac and I did. It was actually a bit more challenging with her, so I'm still in awe that we've made it this far. 

When I first realized I was pregnant with her, I had already made up my mind about breastfeeding. "If I ever have another baby, I'm not going to bother breastfeeding!" I even sold my breast pump (I got new pumps with each of the boys and sold each one.)

I even told my OB that I wasn't going to bother. I had too much anxiety with regard to breastfeeding and was already faced with a lot considering my youngest two were expected to be only 11-12 months apart. She didn't urge me to reconsider. 

I grappled with it internally for most of my pregnancy. When the day came and I was in labor at the hospital, being prepped for an emergency c-section, my nurse asked, "did you plan to breastfeed?" And without thinking I said, "yes." She assured me then that as soon as possible after the procedure they'd help us get going so long as all was well with Ava. 

As it turned out, Ava experienced respiratory distress at birth and I was unable to nurse her. They took her immediately to be evaluated by the NICU pediatrician. 

She was ultimately admitted to the NICU and was put on respiratory monitors and assistance devices. All I could do was pump and send my milk up for them to feed her by syringe. 

{one day old with her c-pap on}

I pumped and pumped and got as much milk sent up as I could. The hospital was understaffed that week so I could only go up to the NICU once I met some of the hospital's expectations for post-op patients and also could demonstrate to my nurse that I could walk without becoming dizzy. Once I did that I walked myself to Ava's pod every three hours and then back to pump. 

The walk was arduous considering I was fresh out of surgery, but all of a sudden I was determined to breastfeed and I hoped that she would be off the c-pap sooner than later so we could get started. 

And then finally she was able to come off the respiratory machine and we were able to give breastfeeding a try. 

She was eager, but had a tiny bit of tubing in her mouth (to suction saliva while she was on the c-pap.) I asked the nurse if we could remove it because it seemed to be getting in the way of a good latch and sure enough things took off once that tube was out of the way.

The contractions I felt while breastfeeding were worse than my labor contractions. I sat behind the curtain quietly writhing in pain because I was worried they'd tell me I had to stop. I'm not sure why I had that thought other than that I did not want anything to get in the way this time and I wanted to be with her as long as I could before I would have to go back and pump to get my supply going. 

This process was exhausting, but I needed to do it. I needed to know I gave breastfeeding my best shot before I let it go. 

I truly expected things to go as they had with the boys. I hoped I would at least be able to get Ava to nurse for a few weeks before I transitioned her to formula. 

And then the days turned into weeks, weeks into months and here we are 6 months later - still going strong!

It only recently hit me that I did it. I'm doing it. I've been wondering how long we'll go before I have to transition her. I even have a can of formula in the cabinet "just in case." But I don't need it. We are breastfeeding successfully. I could cry just thinking about it. 

Getting started was a struggle for sure, but only due to circumstances. Ava was ready to go from the start and she really has been leading the way. 

I've never nursed her on a schedule. I did it purely on demand. Mostly because I had too many distractions to watch the clock, so if she let out her "I'm hungry" cry, I nursed her. 

I was sore for the first few weeks and because of my experience with Adrian I worried that I would never have relief. And then I did. 

Ava went through a phase of constant nursing. Like every 20-30 mins kind of thing. I worried that I would have to stop because I just couldn't continue sit out that often with a 2 year old and 11 month old to take care of. But then she backed off.

I started to feel my milk supply dipping, so I bought a special tea to try and sent up a prayer that I would continue to have enough milk so that I wouldn't have to stop breastfeeding. But then Ava began to cluster feed like crazy and soon enough my supply increased just like that!

I don't have a crazy freezer stash, but I consistently get the same amount of milk out of my one pumping session every day so I am slowly increasing the stash each day. 

Ava sleeps like a dream which I didn't expect out of a breastfed baby. 

I have yet to experience anything like mastitis and hope that never will. 

This experience has been amazing. 

I'm so glad I attempted it and persisted in the beginning. 

It's overwhelming to me when I think about what it took to get here, but I'm all that much prouder because of it.